Saturday, August 2, 2008
This post is specially dedicated to all my friends whom I have claimed that I wanted to begin on a diet.
a) cos, it's for my own good
b) otherwise, some guys in JC might be skinnier than me and we'll hold really interesting conversations.
ME:" why are you so skinny?"
THE SKINNY GUY:" why are you so FAT?"
c) I can finally fit into VJC's uniform and not having to SQUEEZE. As in, really, FIT. Not forcefully SQUISH my oversized tummy into the skirt.
AH!!!!! I HAVE A BIG TUMMY!!!! People will wonder if they should give up their seats for me!!!!!
d) am i turning aneroxic? is that the way you spell it anyways??
and therefore, I MUST attempt to lose weight.
SCREW THOSE TAPIOCA CHIPS!
SCREW FRIED FOOD DAY!!!!! ( why must our school be so nice as to, CREATE this OIL infested day, making US eat the things SO SINFUL and possible A POTENTIAL HEALTH THREAT?)
many years later, when we eventually realise we cannot go diving cos, the moment we jump in, we'll kill the whole world with typhoons, tornadoes and tsunamis.
but maybe, if we beCOME SO FAT, we might just get stuck in between malaysia and indonesia.
and when that day comes, we'll all think back and wonder why, we actually looked forward to FRIED FOOD DAY. AND WHY, WE ACTUALLY ATE SO MUCH, the canteen had to replenish stocks from every MACDONALD's worldwide. WEDNESDAYS, the days when the heads of MACDONALDS realise the profit gained worldwide has shot to 100%. and they have ST. Nicholas's Fried Food day to thank for.
all the canteen vendors can therefore, have enough money to hire people who are dying from poverty, and then, POVERTY WILL BE EXTINGUISHED!
EVERYONE WOULD BE RICH AND HAPPY.
A VERY HAPPY ENDING.
then, comes the future, where you get stuck in between Malaysia and Indonesia.
but that could be a good thing.
when global warming takes over, everyone would crawl into your mouth and hide in your stomach with all that protective gear to ensure that they do not melt from all your highly acidic gastric juices.
just at that moment, some random MT PINTABATUGODHU or something explodes and shoots you into space.
You'll go, " YAY!!! IM FREE! THE SHARKS HAVE BEEN TICKILNG MY ASS!"
The Minister of TRADE would exclaim," THE SEAS ARE FREE, TRADE CAN CONTINUE! WE CAN FINALLY GO ON THAT CRUISE!!!!"
by then, the seas would be so far away, it seems like a tiny droplet of water.
and YOU'LL BURST THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT!!!! all that friction and air resistance tearing away your layers and layers of fats. Meanwhile, the little people in your stomach build a civilisation of their own out of your intestines and the natural folds in your small intestine made the new HIMALAYAS. your gastric juices made the new nature reserve. ( too bad for those who fall in)
and since, you have travelled at the speed oflight 28 times around earth, you have
TRAVELLED THROUGH TIME.
you land on singapore, the friction helped you remove all the fats you had accumulated.
and you realise you are back to FRIED FOOD DAY.
heh.
Proper weight control cannot be attained by dieting alone; however, many people who are engaged in sedentary occupations do not realize that calories can be burned by the hundreds by engaging in strenuous activities that do not require much (or any) physical exercise.
Here's the guide to calorie-burning activities and the number of calories per hour they consume.
Beating around the bush . . . . . . . . .75
Jumping to conclusions . . . . . . . . . 100
Climbing the walls . . . . . . . . . . . 150
Swallowing your pride. . . . . . . . . .50
Passing the buck . . . . . . . . . . . .25
Pushing your luck. . . . . . . . . . . 250
Making mountains out of molehills. . . 500
Hitting the nail on the head . . . . . .50
Bending over backwards . . . . . . . . .75
Running around in circles. . . . . . . 350
Climbing the ladder of success . . . . 650
I can't imagine how much weight i have lost.
http://www.funs.co.uk/fs/28.htm
laisum rawred at